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from Brooklyn, NY for suggesting this week’s topic: Online dating, once a fringe and stigmatized activity, is now over a billion industry.Over 40 million Americans have given online dating a try, and over a of the American couples married between 20 met online.Effective dating definitely needs to take place in person, the same way your grandfather did it, but I see no good reason why happens—and for the most important mission in most of our lives, it makes no sense to crush your ability to meet great people to try a first date with because it’s not as good a story to have met them online.I have a friend that goes on two or three first dates every week with people he already knows are potentially good personality and physical matches for him—how you find the right person, and good luck keeping up with him meeting people the old-fashioned way.The way the current trend is heading, what will dating be like in 2030, and will that be a better or worse time to be on the dating market than 1995? I think the term “online dating” is part of the problem and makes people who don’t know much about it think it refers to people forming entire relationships online and only meeting in person much later.Simply considered as online meeting people, it makes a ton of sense.But despite these numbers, it’s unclear if online dating is any more effective than, or really any different from, meeting someone offline.In many ways, online dating resembles offline dating — the resulting relationships are no different. So why do so many millions turn to the Web to find love?
Research suggests that, while it is possible to predict whether two people could enjoy spending time together in the short term, it’s (nearly) impossible to scientifically match two people for long-term compatibility.I’ve already expressed my argument for why in two posts: one on how critical it is to find the right life partner and how seriously we should take that quest, and another on why going to bars is a terrible life experience.The first step in ending up with the right person is meeting the right person, and for something so important in our lives, we’ve had for doing it efficiently and intelligently.The majority of the surveys, studies, and reports evaluating online dating sites’ efficacy are paid for by the companies themselves, leading to some possibility for biased results.Plus, many big sites have been hesitant to allow independent researchers to look at their matching algorithms in depth. Of the 13 online daters I talked to for this article, only one believes algorithms can make successful matches. “I don’t believe that an algorithm can match me up, and I don’t want to match me up,” said Jason Feifer.