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Don’t tire your references out Just the way you wouldn’t want to overstay your welcome in someone else’s home or annoy a friend by calling in too many favors, you also don’t want to overwhelm your references with repeated requests.

Giammatteo suggests using the same reference no more than three times.

To let a requester down lightly, you could tell him that you don’t think you’re suited to speak to his skill set.

Or you might outright admit that you weren’t happy with his performance, but frame it as not wanting to hurt his chances of landing the position.“Of course, being this honest might cost you a relationship with this person, but it’s still the best way to handle it,” Giammatteo says.3.

If the answer is no, be honest why If what’s giving you pause to a reference request isn’t corporate policy but your colleague’s less-than-stellar work, then you might want to stick with some timeless guidance Carvajal abides by.“I’m in the ‘follow Mom’s advice’ camp.

Don’t be afraid to lead the conversation with the hiring manager While it may seem natural to wait to answer a question about a candidate, that approach may not convey the enthusiasm you have for your former coworker.“Feel free to ask the hiring manager questions about what, exactly, the job duties entail, and what his take is on the candidate’s fit for the position,” Giammatteo says.

Then feel free to jump right in with detailed examples and anecdotes from your days together.

“It’s a time commitment, and you don’t want to disrespect your former coworker’s time by putting that person in a position where that colleague resents talking about your skill set,” he says.

“You’re probably not the only one using them as a reference.”Related: The Perks (And Pitfalls) Of Job Hopping4.

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