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And as modern relationships continue to put pressure on "the one" to be (where men cast their wives and girlfriends to play best friend, lover, career advisor, stylist, social secretary, emotional cheerleader, mom—to him, their future kids, or both—and eventually, on-call therapist minus the 0/hour fee), this form of emotional gold digging is not only detrimental to men, it's exhausting an entire generation of women.The idea of an “emotional gold digger” was first touched on in 2016 by writer Erin Rodgers with that continues to be re-posted on social media—both by women who married self-described feminist men, and by those with more conservative husbands.), making it seem totally normal—even ideal—to find the man within the beast.Unlike women, who are encouraged to foster deep platonic intimacy from a young age, American men—with their puffed up chests, fist bumps, and awkward side hugs—grow up believing that they should not only behave like stoic robots in front of other men, but that women are the only people they are allowed to turn to for emotional support—if anyone at all.

Both recently divorced, her brothers are already turning to her (but never to each other) to provide the support their wives used to.“Men have never been taught how to identify what their emotional needs are, their thoughts and feelings, or to express how someone can help them fulfill these,” explains Dr.Angela Beard, a clinical psychologist at the Veterans Affairs in Dallas, Texas.For generations, men have been taught to reject traits like gentleness and sensitivity, leaving them without the tools to deal with internalized anger and frustration.Meanwhile, the female savior trope continues to be romanticized on the silver screen (thanks Disney!

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