Drug recovery and dating

When people stop using and start dating right away, they run the risk of seeking comfort in relationships instead of drugs.

Only when people know who they are and what they have to offer can they find a mate who is an appropriate match for their values, interests and goals.

Codependent individuals focus too heavily on the needs of their partner (“My happiness is dependent on making/keeping you happy”), and define themselves by their relationship, sometimes lowering their personal standards to please someone else.

Some women choose abusive partners in early recovery because they lack discernment or grew accustomed to being treated poorly in childhood.

“It is commonly recommended in the recovery community to avoid romantic relationships for the first year, because most of us are just beginning to get to know ourselves and to define our values,” Desloover says.

“We have to learn to love ourselves before we can love someone else.” People in recovery might choose to date a very different type of person when they first quit using as compared to when they have achieved a year of sobriety, observes Desloover.

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