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He never speaks, but you know he's already mastered everything the professor is spilling out.He sits there with a nonchalant cool as if he's already audited the class. You raise your hand just so he can hear your voice, and you hope he thinks your answers are brilliant.He always leaves class before you can stage a run-in, but you know you'll maneuver your way into his study group before the semester's over. In college, this means the iconic university trophy-winner and indisputable Big Man On Campus.

What Bed Bath & Beyond can't buy you and what your required reading won't prepare you for is how you will soon be starring in a number of quasi-romantic narratives with settings from the laundry room to the lecture hall.

He's mastered couldn't-care-less cool, and has a Dionysian ability to keep the keg flowing and become everyone's best friend. His mixology skills exceed that of most 19 year olds, but are still limited to screwdrivers and jungle juice.

The Frat-Star Crush is an evanescent infatuation that will dissipate as soon as you've played guest at a few parties, and have learned to distinguish between confidence and douchebaggery.

You keep your eye on his reflection in the mirror, but turn away too quickly when he catches you looking. — he's still looking, so you look away once more, and then at the floor, and then at your i Phone, and then spend the next five minutes stretching your left calf and creating a new Spotify playlist. He looks like the kind of guy your mom always wanted you to date, but every time she visits you, you're going to have to disappoint.

He's still not your boyfriend, because he's still with the girl he's been dating since he was 14. He treats you like you're related to him, and he never looks too long at any girl.

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