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If you truly respect your partner and care about the Asian American community, perhaps try listening to what other Asians have to say and allow them to speak their opinions instead of trying to get the last word in.By choosing “I agree” below, you agree that NPR’s sites use cookies, similar tracking and storage technologies, and information about the device you use to access our sites to enhance your viewing, listening and user experience, personalize content, personalize messages from NPR’s sponsors, provide social media features, and analyze NPR’s traffic.“I can’t be racist, I’m dating/married to an Asian!” Let’s be clear, being racist and dating a person of color are not two mutually exclusive things.Just hop online and scan through comment sections or forums on platforms set up as safe spaces for Asians to share their experiences.You’ll start to see quite a few comments like these: “As a white man married to an Asian woman, I find what you say highly racist towards white people.” “As a white woman married to an Asian man with half-Asian children, I don’t see why Asians are offended by this.” While everyone has a right to their own opinions, white partners who say these things — especially on platforms dedicated for POC — are attempting to delegitimize individual experiences of racism.While there are many white partners of Asians who don’t fetishize or demean their significant other, there is a very vocal community of those who do — whether it’s a man trying to play white savior while demonizing Asian men, or a woman fetishizing her Asian husband while demonizing Asian women.I believe they are largely emboldened to express these views because they are able to hide behind their romantic partners.

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In general, I don’t view interracial relationships as problematic – like with most situations, it’s the select few that exhibit toxic traits.“I’m actually dating an Asian boy, he’s Korean,”she said out of the blue.“I’m kind of known around here for having yellow fever.” Did she want praise? What kind of person starts off a conversation like that? I don’t get it; mixed babies are so much cuter,” she said looking slightly disgusted.However, there is one specific conversation my mind always returns to.It was a horribly rainy afternoon in Cardiff and I rushed into a taxi to avoid the wet Welsh weather. ” For the rest of the journey, we sat in awkward silence.

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